Bethany is currently expecting her first child and lives in Washington.
Please head over and follow her amazing journey to motherhood!
I am the type of person who likes to be in control, always. I make plans, to-do lists, and agendas, and I tend to stick to them. So being pregnant has thrown me a bit off guard.
My husband Cameron and I talked for a while about getting pregnant. We both agreed it was time, and I did some research to find out what I needed to do ahead of time. Turns out I needed to see a lady doctor to get checked out and also see a dentist. [Through that, I learned I had my first cavity. Bummer!] I knew that it was a good idea to rid your body of birth control medication to increase your chances of conception. After some careful planning, we started going for it, and in less than a month, we were pregnant.
My reaction? This was not the plan. The plan was to try for a few months and THEN get pregnant. Already, my plan is getting thrown off track. Was I excited? I was a little excited, but mostly I was unprepared. I had to start reading and planning for the next stages. Turns out, there is a LOT that needs to be done when you're pregnant and before the baby arrives!
Fast forward to today, just a few weeks from delivery. I have done all I can to plan and prepare for his arrival, but I'm no longer in control! And it freaks me out.
I can't tell when I will go into labor. Heck, the doctor can't tell me that. Only the baby knows when it's time. And that is a scary thought. For the first time, I am not in control of my own circumstances (disclaimer: I know, theoretically, that we are never really in control of anything!); I can only plan for the "if"s.
Here is my plan:
If I'm at work, my friend Susan will drive me home. I'll call Cameron on the way.
If I'm at church or work, we will likely take a cab home OR just walk, depending on how I feel.
If we're home (or once we're home), I will call my mother and let her know that it's begun. I will also send a text to a few of my friends who requested one. And I'll call our doula.
Cameron will blow up the stability ball.
We will make sure our hospital bag is ready, including last minute toiletry items.
And THEN... that's where things get fuzzy. My plan takes me through the first hour, tops. The next stage (6 hours? 10 hours? 20?) is no longer in my control or my plan. And that is a scary thought.
One side of my brain says, "Just plan for anything. Make sure you know what to do in every situation."
The other side, the one I should probably be listening to at this point, says, "It will be alright. No matter what, it won't last forever, and you will be fine."
I will be fine. I will be great. Then I'll have a baby.
I CAN plan on that.