Yesterday,

I was diagnosed with Postnatal Depression.

I am still confused with this diagnoses,

But after thinking about it, it explains so much.

My days started molding into one,

I am dazed, lost, unhappy and confused.

I yelled at my husband daily.

Snapped at my parents.

Ditched my friends.

Stopped working my horses.

Worst of all,

I paid less attention to my Son.

It got me thinking I really know nothing about PND.

I didn't realize that you could get it up to 12 months after a baby.

I didn't know that it effects almost 1 in 6 women giving birth in Aus.

I don't really understand what brought on my depression,

My son is an angel and sleeps well and doesn't cry much,

My Husband works hard and provides for T and I.

I am very lucky to have a strong support structure but it doesn't stop the feelings of worthlessness, the loneliness, the anger and the depression! 

My doctor has given me two weeks to give up binge eating chocolate (4-5 blocks a week) and also find that I have low vitamin D levels.

I have chosen to get better!

I will get better!

My Family need me!

J x